“It all comes down to the last person you think of at night. They have your heart.”

Bed_couple_by_CrisweyHow do you know when your in love?

How do you know if its just a crush ?

How do you know?

In this world you only lets say have 100 years at least to live.. Lets just say out of those 45 you live it up. Would you rather be  a house wife single married with kids or someone who doesnt have to worry about anything and just have those wonderful men on the side wrapped round your finger.

What if your in love ? well you think your in love with someone that treats you the opposite of what you expected.. Mabye someone you dont expect to be with. Do we even know what love is? or what it feels like? mabye many of us think we are in love and we get so close to it we think there the one. Why is it so hard find that one.? Why does God grant you someone you think your suppose to be with then someone else comes along and ruins everything you live for and fucks everything up? Can god be that cruel?

Is he even controlling our lives like we think he is or are we just paranoid? Are we suppose to have faith in ourselves and follow our gut mabye even getting screwed over in the end , or go with the safe choice.

Would you want to screw over that person and everything that they grew with you or start an exciting new adventure.? These questions are yet confusing to me. yet again we only live a short amount of time. This world i believe is full of people who screw you over whenever they get a chance there cruel but yet sometimes sweet. in the end all we car about is what they think thats what makes us so controlled becuase of how we think and what others think.. Is that right ?

In the end…. we still wont know

Missing that feeling

      I know I haven’t posted anything lately. And I’m sorry for leaving you guys hanging I’ve kind of been missing in action I guess you could say. Just thought I would write something about the babies. Just because I Miss them all the time. Adams been gone too in South Carolina.   
       He left for bootcamp September 9th it’s been hard because we had just recently lost the twins then he had to leave right after. So it’s been difficult not being able to call him when im sad or need someone to talk to. An events is coming up at the Pomona Hospital it’s a walk to remember for all the mother’s who lost there children.  So that is going to be really hard because I know Adam wanted to be here for that and we get to see the babies names on a walk with a plaque. In remembrance of them.
       I really miss there kicks. I remember right before I had them they use to kick all the time and I would bond with them that way. So now I feel like I’m forgetting that feeling and it scares me because I use to love it.
        I mean it would hurt sometimes but it made me happy knowing that they were still with me.  I could go into great detail of what I miss about them.  But it’s just too emotional. In order for me to feel better about myself and not blame myself for what happened to them I need to talk about it.
        But honestly I can’t talk to a computer about it. Or wrote it on paper.  You can’t get support from paper.  Or the computer screen.  The one person that could really support me and make me feel better is my husband. And I need him more than ever. I love you Adam Steven Junes. I can’t wait for you to come home.

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      The twins will always be by your side watching you and making sure your safe. I love you Santa work hard continue to suppose me with all these amazing things you could do. I will always be here for you my love. Suyos para siempre.  ❤😍😘

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    I sent you a Blessed Rosery and socks that the twins wore when they were born I hope they got to you safe, I know I kind of took a chance by sending them to you. But I thought it would make you truly happy. keep them safe and don’t lose them they are very important to me. I trust you and I love you with all my heart.

                                             Love your Wife.

Missing your spouse

It’s been a couple days since Adam had been gone for boot camp in South Carolina. I haven’t been able to eat a lot I probably only eat once a day I would say because I am always worried about him. I know he is doing good because I FaceTime him a lot but it sucks because I can’t feel him or sleep with him for 9 weeks. Everything just happened so fast it makes me really depressed knowing that he won’t be back or a long time. Today I almost forgot to take my birth control and anti depressants. Knowing that Adam wants another baby’s makes me super happy but yet it makes me nervous And scared at the same time too because I don’t want to be put through the same thing that we were put through four months ago. I mean I really want another baby or babies but I feel that god only blessed them to me just to hold them and carry them not to actually have them for the rest of there life’s. I don’t know why but I feel like that’s what I was meant to do just carry them in my womb. Sometimes I’m scared that he will be sad because I can’t have a baby. But I hope he will always have faith in me that I will be able to. I would love to have a baby that looks exactly like Adam and I. They would carry our hearts on and on till the end. I hope one day I will have a healthy baby. I would love to surprise him. I love you Adam Junes and I will always stick by your side no matter what . I love you with all my heart.❤️💏

Learning to adjust.

Well I feel like today is the day that everything will get to me.  After having an awful dream.  Just made me think about myself.  I know it sounds selfish but no really.  After being with one person for so long and going through the worst possible life events together.  And in 9 days that person is leaving for almost half a year!  What am I suppose to do.  That’s pretty much all I know and care about.  I care about being with my husband the one person who has stayed with me through the ups and downs.  I know everyone is going to say hang out with your friends go work.  I mean that’s what I plan on doing but the one thing that I’m worried about is who am I going to tell everything to.  I can’t text him or Call him whenever I want.. I mean I guess we are going to have to do it the old Fashion way.  I would love to hear some experiences from other young married couples who’s husband’s have been in the army.  “How do you adjust to something that could change your whole life?”  “How do you not go crazy,  I mean not talking to your best friend for long periods of time.”  “Is it hard?”  He is the one person that knows how I work.  He knows every little button that will set me off.  He also knows how to get under my skin at times,  I’m really going to miss getting mad at each other and making up right after, or watching our Netflix shows,  laying down on our favorite couch.  Laughing at the most corniest things.  It’s going to be hard being away from my best friend.  But he’s leaving to give both of us and our future family a better life.  Thank you so much I love everything about you and everything you do. One day I will give you everything you ever wanted.  I love you my husband suyos para siempre

Verizon plan

Now where do I start

Now everyone thinks Verizon is the best carrier you could get because it has everything! Even though it’s pretty expensive when you pay monthly it still has the best 4g well the best signal.

But when it comes to your phone messing up and it goes down to you having to call Verizon they act like there going to help you but really don’t.  Now I’ve been  having problems with my phone since I got it and I explained to them in detail what exactly is going on with it.  And all they say is okay let me transfer you to someone else and make you wait a long as time.  Now they say

oh of course we will help you no problem we will definitely take care of you.

But what they don’t tell you is that your going to wait for 1 hour and  19 minutes!  That’s crazy!  Verizon is a good company just when it comes to helping out the customer they don’t do a very good job.
I recently got my Galaxy s5 three months ago and the first month I got it,  it started Messi g up.  Messing up like the battery would only last two hours I would have to charge it almost three four times a day.  The phone kept freezing and overheating.  Let me remind you that this is a brand new phone.  Verizon put me on hold four at least 45 minutes then hung up on  me.  So I called back.  Then all they told me was to factory reset my phone the  it would be okay.  But if it started messing up again to call back and they would give me a brand new phone.  So two months later which is today my phone started going haywire.  It was loading previous text messages from a long long time ago.  Which is pretty weird.  It started to overheat and of course my battery drained.

The first person who answered the phone was very helpful and nice.  Then he transfered me to another person but yet I had to wait 1 hour and 19 Minutes that’s just bs isn’t it. When they finally answered over an hour later.  I had to start over and tell them the whole story.  Which kind of pissed me off.  After she told me that

yeah no problem we will get you a new phone.

Just like the first guy said.  She transfered me again  to another guy.  And guess what I had to explain my story again.  I honestly hate Verizon.  So he went along by asking my name my number and what was wrong with the phone.  Long story short I had to restart my phone 5 times delete all my messages stop almost all Running apps and that’s it.  And said call back if there is anymore problems.

Umm hell no two of your employees told me that I would be getting a brand new phone.  Why are you telling g me that I’m not?  I’ve been waiting for over an hour for. You to tell me to restart my phone  and turn off apps?

That’s bs!

Seriously Verizon sucks at customer service they tell you one thing and change it at the last minute to save them money.  I literally got off the phone with them after talking to them for two hours.  And I don’t get anything in return. ?  I trusted Verizon to help me and make me happy but there  OT doing shit!

Don’t get Verizon!  It’s a shitty company!  All I want is my phone to work and they can’t even do that!
Verizon  sucks.